Peter O’Neill - Helping You Move Forward
Saturday, December 24th, 2011A Concept for Contemplation by Peter O’Neill
I want to move forward and I am prepared to walk away
The above statement is our position of personal power, within it is our strength, courage, independence and wisdom. This statement of personal power gives us so much to contemplate as it applies across every area of our lives.
In your career it is around expressing what needs to happen for you to sustain peak performance. These are your requirements just like a car requires petrol to keep running. We tend to over give in the beginning and then resent it later and often suppress our truth. Personal power means being able to clearly express what we need to help us do the job well and also having the strength to draw the line if the environment does not suit you.
Some people just complain, create drama and in-fighting and end up threatening to quit and find another job. A wise person will be able to express with a positive attitude what needs to happen, even if they think that management will not do what needs to be done. Being prepared to walk away with a positive attitude brings such power and energy that it tends to spark change. The feeling you get if you do walk away is pride knowing that you were positive and did your best to make it work.
This is the same in relationships where we need to have a positive forward mindset and never say things like “If you do that again I am leaving!” Rather than using a statement like this, we need to have a more conscious conversation that says ” I really want this relationship to work and this is what I believe needs to happen to break through this and make it. If we can’t achieve that then that’s okay I am prepared to walk away, but I do want to make this work and move forward.”
Imagine this in parenting where you say “I do want to take you out and have fun but if you misbehave then I am prepared to deal with your complaining and just go home, but I do want go out and have fun. Are you prepared to do what it takes to be well behaved?”
Parents often ‘look bad’ because they get triggered off and quit rather than have a want to walk forward attitude.
So often we get caught in expressing what we don’t want to happen rather than what we require or need to happen to breakthrough.
You watch, the next time you ask someone what they want; they will often respond and say what they don’t want. Then you will discover that many people don’t really know what they want or need because they haven’t focused on it or thought about it enough.
I had a client recently who was in a relationship crisis and I asked her seven times “so what do you want?” and she just could not find that place in her mind and come up with one thing that she wanted to happen or what could be done to move forward because her mind was filled with all the things she didn’t want in her life. And this is why people feel that they have no option but to walk away and it is in these times that you need to get the advice of someone who is objective and to help you point out possible pathways forward because in my world, there are always lots of them but we just can’t see the light at times.
“I want to move forward but I am prepared to walk away”
Say it to yourself 20 or 30 times now and feel the personal power in those words!
This statement is great for our self esteem as we regain confidence and let go of the negative stories that “it’s my fault, that “I don’t have strength” “I am a quitter”, that “I can’t do it!”
Wrong!!!
“I want to move forward. Yes I am prepared to walk away because I have integrity and I do what I believe to be right for all concerned. But personally, I really want to do whatever it takes to move forward!!!
“I want to move forward but I am prepared to walk away”
Hope this helps
Peter O’Neill
P.S. Remember to get some help and advice if you are in a sticky, messy or difficult situation. Just one or two personal sessions with me will be enough to give you clear and purposeful direction. It may be easy for you to think of the path walking away but I can help you find many pathways (with strategy) forward.
Appointments are available over Skype from anywhere in the world. Email iam@peteroneill.com.au for a booking
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